Fifteen years ago, when having a heart-to- heart conversation with my oldest daughter, she confided in me something from her childhood.  She told me that she felt like I wasn’t very present for her growing up. And as much as it saddened me, I had to agree with her.

As a young mother, I was very rarely ‘present’ for my two daughters.  My mind was constantly elsewhere, thinking about the bills, the shopping, the meals, the activities … and on and on and on. I sometimes wish I could go back and have a ‘do-over’ with what I know now.  But I also know the lessons I learned as a mother have prepared me for being a grandmother.

I especially remember one particular day with my granddaughter as clearly as it was yesterday.

It was a beautiful summer day and I was looking forward to having an entire day with her.  She was 4-years-old at the time so I set up a pool with a kiddie slide in the backyard.  We played for hours in and out of the water, played with her dolls, put together a puzzle, and played school. At the end of the day, my husband called us out into the yard and in a grove of trees, hundreds of monarch butterflies were taking flight. It was a day filled with so much joy and wonder!

The day with her also presented me with the opportunity to learn the value of being present.  As a grandmother, I was able to put aside all of the things on my to-do list.  By the time I had grandchildren, I knew how fast they would grow up and I wanted to treasure each moment with them.

This is the gift we can bring to both our children and grandchildren … the gift of presence.  Our total undivided attention.  When we give them a listening ear, a space where they feel supported and can relax, they will reveal the gift of who they are and we receive a gift in return.